You're earring is so big in my mouth
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
