friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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