Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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