did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
