I feel great
I just peed on a car
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
