I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hippo gnu deer
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
