Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we made out on top of his cat.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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