i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sext me about skeletons
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