dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm always down for nudity.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
