he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
