Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
