hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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