I want to stick my p in your. b.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
please come you make the beer taste better
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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