i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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