OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
