i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
