I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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