Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
