im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
