and you said cock pushups were impossible
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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