It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
