Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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