Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
why do cheetos always look like penises
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
