My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
