So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
