just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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