fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
