I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
