Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
