I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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