i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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