You're my little dorito
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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