im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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