All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
