No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
