It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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