I'm really into asian looking animals
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
