How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
