brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
