Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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