so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
