to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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