Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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