after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
