I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
