No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
