he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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