he shaved USA in his pubs
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
