Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
