it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
